


Less Disappointed Than Relieved

by PaulaMcG



Series: Dances with Cho [2]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Asexuality Spectrum, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Dating, F/M, Male-Female Friendship, Post-Canon, Questioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 06:07:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28738488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaulaMcG/pseuds/PaulaMcG
Summary: In her fifth year at Hogwarts – and five years later, too – Cho's only starting to learn what she enjoys doing with the people she's very fond of.
Relationships: Cho Chang & Roger Davies, Cho Chang/Cedric Diggory, Roger Davies/Fleur Delacour
Series: Dances with Cho [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106933
Comments: 6
Kudos: 7
Collections: Harry Potter Rare Pair Shorts





	Less Disappointed Than Relieved

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thatdarkhairedgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatdarkhairedgirl/gifts).



> This was written for Rare Pair Shorts Winter Exchange ([DW](https://rarepair-shorts.dreamwidth.org/)/[LJ](https://rarepair-shorts.livejournal.com/)). Thank you, darkhairedgirl, for the inspiring assignment, and for receiving this gift so wonderfully! Since this little story is set in GoF era and five years later, and I follow the canon of the first five HP books, there is a canonical character death. There is some questioning of sexual orientation and also the possibility of interpreting a character as asexual while the character is not quite aware of it. Dear Liseuse, thank you for being my beta!
> 
> This can, of course, be read separately from my other stories about Cho.

"Sorry?" Cho steers her broomstick closer to Roger's, as a snow-laden blast has snatched his words. 

"Do you want to go to the Yule Ball?" That's all he says – calmly, out of curiosity, not as a suggestion that she go with him.

Is it possible to feel disappointed and relieved at the same time? "Not sure. You?"

"Don't know. I wish we had our Quidditch tournament instead of all that. But it's a chance to see the Weird Sisters."

"The dance moves Flitwick showed were fun. Dancing's... like flying."

"Maybe... Race me again! To the edge of the forest!"

"Yes." Cho hears her surprise revealed in her joyous voice.

She leans her back against the staircase railing, trying to ignore Marietta's giggling and to focus on Diggory's kind, beautiful face and on the feeling that she's very fond of him.

"Great. It's settled then. I guessed someone as good at sports as you wouldn't mind... Opening the ball in the champions' partner dance, I mean."

"Of course not. I'll love to dance... like that."

She's lucky. As a fifth-year she could have gone to the ball partnerless, but now she's sure to get to dance, and even to have people watch her do it well, in the way they admire her skill from the Quidditch stands.

"I told you one of them would ask you," Marietta whispers as soon as Diggory's turning away. "Our underage champion must be too shy."

Cho's glad also because her partner's a Seeker rival of hers, one of those she enjoys competing with. She might have preferred the younger one to the seventh-year, whom all the girls call super sexy. Bur perhaps... Since reading such romantic scenes in old novels, she's entertained dreams of falling in love with someone twirling her in a dance.

She still finds it a lot more surprising that Roger has got himself a partner – and by asking the Beauxbatons champion. Of course, it's not so strange that Fleur Delacour has found him worthy, as he, too, is good-looking and a Quidditch captain, just a year younger than... Cedric.

Entering the Great Hall beside him, Cho realises she'd better get used to calling Diggory by his first name. He's offered his arm to her, and as they're stepping into a shared rhythm like in a prelude to the first dance, the warmth of his skin feels pleasant enough through the smooth fabric of his dress robes.

She looks at the pair in front of them – in hopes of getting a chance to exchange grins with Roger. He's seemed nervous about the ball, just frowned and not participated when the common room has filled with excited talk about it, but now he looks happy... More than happy. Cho keeps seeing his profile, as he's staring fixedly at his partner's stunning, luminous, unearthly beauty.

It's impossible for Cho to catch her own Captain's, her old friend's eye across the champions and judges' table, either, in order to ask him to comment on Cedric's views of the benefits of a professional Quidditch career. Talking to Cedric is nice in any case.

And gliding along the dance floor with him is lovely. Cho still hopes the four of them will enjoy dancing all together when the Weird Sisters start the most popular, frenetic songs.

But now she's lost sight of Roger.

And Cedric nudges her, and gestures towards the doors. "Let's get some fresh air," he says in the Entrance Hall. "Outside we can also hear each other better."

"And admire this..." Cho says, skipping down the front steps. "Sprout and Flitwick did a good job, right?"

The enchanted rose garden spreading in full bloom where snow drifts kept gathering until the afternoon confirms the fruitfulness of inter-House cooperation. Perhaps it's as well that Cho spends some time alone with Cedric, getting to know him better. He looks less suave than when surrounded by his mates, and not at all like he'd make any advances, and she feels... less disappointed than relieved.

"Yes..." Cedric's biting his lip and looking aside, before suddenly turning to her and asking, "Would you like... May I hold your hand?"

She's followed his gaze and spotted Roger and Fleur ducking into a hideaway between bushes – and their mouths pressed together before they are out of view.

Cho lets Cedric grab her hand. But when he draws a finger across her cheek to the corner of her mouth, as if asking a further question, and tilts his head closer – her eyes brim with tears. No, she can't bear being touched like that. 

The tension she's felt for a whole week starts to ease when this odd little girl's persuaded her to come out to the grounds, where frost has now worked its magic again, turning grass into sparkling silver. Sliding along, spreading her arms like wings, Luna Lovegood doesn't look like the teenager she's supposed to have grown into, but in a way she seems older than Cho's friends.

Luna's suggested they hold hands – just for the warmth, as someone's hidden her mittens, and Cho's forgotten to bring her gloves. And by blurting out uncomfortable truths, she's made Cho confide in her.

Only now does Cho dare admit this to herself, too. "I’m afraid I’ll never want to kiss anyone at all."

How can it feel so comforting when Luna, whose beliefs nobody shares, says that it wouldn't be a big deal? Because she proves it by...

By now swinging their arms and enticing her to show what the partner dances were like! And by making her feel free and light like never before except when in flight, and making her laugh like nobody has, except Roger maybe. Perhaps it helps that Luna's also talked about the need to take your time and find out whom you really want...

Now Cho's got the courage to answer Cedric, who's confronted her outside a classroom, "Yes, I'd like to date you. If it's all right for you that we only hold hands for now."

To her surprise, Cedric looks relieved. "Of course. And I'm sorry about the ball... I'm not in a hurry, not so eager really... Just thought I was supposed to..."

Roger's come to sit next to her in the stands, and they agree that watching – let alone playing – Quidditch would be a lot better than trying to guess what's going on inside the Triwizard maze. Now, for once, he's clearheaded, and he's barely mentioned the Beauxbatons champion after she's lifted her wand and focused on starting this last task.

"I trust one of ours will be the winner," he says again, and he joins in the chant, "Diggory, Diggory..."

My boyfriend, Cho says in her mind, and my best friends! There's perhaps an unexpected delay. Some teachers whisper to each other and seem anxious, but Cho, looking up at the starry sky, feels calm and happy, and not even a bit cold, with her arm rubbing against Marietta's, and with Roger's hand clasping hers.

But now there's some commotion down in front of the entrance to the maze. Has the winner returned?

"Diggory! He's..." What are they whispering, now shouting? "Dead!"

Marietta screams. Roger grabs Cho's arm, then clings to her, squeezing so hard that it hurts.

"Here's to the Magpies' new Chaser!" Cho lifts her glass of the best Firewhiskey served at the Leaky Cauldron. "Great to have you on the team!" She's so happy to be reunited with her dear old Captain, who's kept owling just pictures of himself in the French team's pink robes rather than proper letters.

"Thanks for showing me you really mean it." Roger takes a swig and breathes out the heat. "Asking me for a drink right away! I've missed... this whiskey." He grins. "So none of our teammates is your boyfriend?"

"No. I've actually... not had one after..."

"After the war?" Roger frowns, perhaps immediately regretting the spelling out of his assumption and the mention of what he doesn't want to talk about – as he must have stayed a couple of years abroad partly in order to leave the terror and the losses of the war behind.

Cho prefers reminiscing earlier times than that, and the truth is... "After it started... at the end of my fifth year, your sixth."

"But in the following year you dated..." Roger seems determined to talk about relationships, not about the war. "Potter, or Corner, at least, didn't you?"

"Not really. I tried, but..." She's five years older and no longer ashamed to admit to a close friend, "I found out I didn't want... I cried like I always do. It wasn't only because Cedric had been murdered." 

The first victim in the second war. And so many were to follow, and the two of them need to acknowledge them. They stare into each other's eyes over the rims of their glasses.

"To the victims – to the heroes!" Roger says, and he reaches out his hand and grabs – not Cho's hand but her arm in the way he did back when... it started.

"I'm so sorry..." She's needed to say this to someone – and it could be no one else, unless Luna, perhaps. "Maybe because of me he never got what he wanted. You know, I cried also when he tried to kiss me. We never did more than held hands and talked. He gave me a ring, and... Still, we often only hooked our pinkies. Anyway, not much to talk about my relationships after that one. And yours?" 

"I've never... really wanted any girl." Roger stares down into his whiskey.

"You mean... after the charming champion from Beauxbatons?" Cho can't help wondering once again whether he went to France because of Fleur Delacour.

"Remember I wished we'd had none of that, just Quidditch. We'd have only played and stayed the closest friends. You want to go on like that now we're teammates again?"

"Yes... I guess you knew I was on the team when you tried out? Or at least when you signed the contract with us and not with the Falcons. After you moved to Falmouth and all!"

"I knew you'd make it easier for me to feel at home. And I've only stayed at my sister's place in Cornwall. It's all temporary. Audrey's getting married. I'll live both in Montrose and in London, like you. I've already rented a flat here. A Muggle flat in Craven Street."

"Why...?" Cho empties her glass while waiting for an answer. "I've got a bedsit in Diagon Alley only because I work part time downstairs, in Quality Quidditch Supplies."

"I chose my flat because next door there's a club that resembles the places in France where I figured out... You want to go out dancing with me tonight – as friends?"

Cho can't help grinning when she sees Roger, who has come back early and is leaning against the wall by the door to Charing Cross Road. He's wearing a red leather jacket, and his untucked shirt is of gleaming silk. Walking across the pub to him, she opens her cloak and shows him her own flashy disco outfit.

"Wow. Just what – no, better than what I had in mind!" He lifts a hand to her shoulder as they leave the Leaky Cauldron for the Muggle nightlife. "That glittery top is even Ravenclaw bronze. And a black mini skirt – just the right choice to go with the perfect darkness of your hair!"

His touch and his gaze feel just right, in turn. Cho appreciates it how Roger focuses on her clothes and not on what they reveal of her figure. Due to his advice, she's chosen to wear now what she once bought mainly for her own pleasure and has always deemed inappropriate for any of the housewarming parties or hen dos she's been invited to. Where they are headed tonight and in Roger's company, she won't have to worry that men will show too much interest in her. And she'll enjoy dancing with abandon.

"I'm proud to be seen with someone so beautiful," Roger whispers in the queue outside Heaven.

"I'm proud – of the company of an old friend and an excellent Chaser. Or should I say someone handsome enough to once date the famous beauty from Beauxbatons?"

"Stop that. And sorry... Anyway, we should forget about her." Roger digs out a packet of cigarettes.

"You smoke?" Cho can hear more reproach in her voice than she meant to express, while she is a bit disappointed that Roger doesn't stick to the healthy habits of a sportsman – not that she does it as far as alcohol is concerned. "No, thank you, I don't."

"Only sometimes at the club when something makes me jittery," Roger mutters around the cigarette, lighting up.

"And now? What is it now?" Cho's questioning gaze meets Roger's – his lifted eyebrows as he still offers the lit cigarette to her. "All right, I can share one with you, just not inhale the smoke."

She takes a drag and, as soon as blowing the smoke out straight from her mouth, hands the cigarette back. But perhaps they've misunderstood each other. Roger's been fingering his packet again. 

Between puffs, he speaks quickly. "Before we forget all about Fleur, I think I must try to explain how it was. She made me confused, perhaps used some veela enchantment. In France I first looked for someone like her. But I found freedom and... let's say: myself. And still about Cedric... Perhaps he didn't know what he wanted. Because here... at Hogwarts... we were made to think that being gay wasn't right, or even real. Maybe I'm wrong, only projecting. I can only speak for myself. And confess... why when Fleur with all her charms was not right there, I felt jealous because of the two of you dating. I fancied him."

In the crowded dark-walled hall with its flashing lights, Cho lets the pounding music move her body until she's dizzy. This is how she's as fully alive as all these people who often seem alien to her, like animals in heat. Just as Roger's always chasing someone, now aware of what he desires, could she seek some luminous beauty? Like Fleur's, or Luna's. Roger suggests that maybe she's able to want anything with a girl. She has loved flying with Luna, and talking to her, and she does want to see her again whenever she's back from travelling.

She's dancing close enough to Roger, and perhaps she'll keep coming here with him, who's willing to dance with strangers night after night, always with someone new. Maybe they'll drink too much, but they'll be there for each other. Whenever Roger finds a man who'll be gone in the morning, she'll be there for him. 

She's got a best friend to make her happy – and only a bit sad when she remembers that he wants something else, someone else.


End file.
